alone time

where's my alone time? it's inside the van on the way to and from work, inside the toilet, in my room (when my mom's watching tv) and during my breakfast/lunch time. it's the time when i read my books, drink my coffee, stare off into space, dream my dreams, write my stories and contemplate on life situations. it's the time when i talk to myself, the time when i weigh the pros and cons of my life's decisions and of the bleary future.

my alone time is really inside my head where i can shut everyone else out and just be at one with my thoughts (no matter how sugary light or gritty dark they may be).

ahh...how i cherish my alone time.

on books and sad stories

I finally found the book!! After so many months I found Lewis Perdue's masterpiece. I absolutely loved it. Read it!!

==

To read through my stack of books, I've started my Book of the Month project. Basically, it takes me through my book list, choosing one and committing to finish it by month's end. The object is to read everything and find new treasures. I will not allow myself to buy a new book unless I am able to read 2-3 more by the 30th or 31st. For this month, I've read through Daughter of God, Twisted 13, Between dinners and the morning after, Wandergirl and World's Greatest Serial Killers. I'm reading Patter Recognition by William Gibson right now. Yes, the man who in 1982, coined the term cyberspace and popularized the concept in his debut novel, Neuromancer (read that one too! It gave me a psychedelic headache!). This time he travels the present under the premise that nothing is ever new, only patterns emerge. I'm excited!

What I'm really looking for are the Alfred Hitchcock anthologies. It's so hard to find one at Booksale. I wonder how I can start scrouging for it online. Any ideas?

==

So my birthday has come and gone. Indeed it is a sad month because one, I was broke and two, my beloved cat Dexter passed away this afternoon. I was with him till the end. He gave one last stretch and then his chest no longer moved. I'm just so distraught! My familiar, my baby, my bestfriend..

To my pretty kitty, hunny baby pretty baby...I love you so much! I'm sure you are in cat heaven right now having the time of your life and watching over me. Forgive me if I wallow in sadness because of your passing. Let my eyes swell to nothing but slits as I cry a river. Rest assured that I will be strong for you again.

marking the end of another year

How time flies when you have so much to do and think about! Another year has ended and I am still writing my novel. Haven't quite ironed out the kinks (and there are a few) but I will get it out first quarter of this new year. I hope you like it boss!

As for my personal literary endeavours, I believe after this major project I'm humbly going back to my roots. That means short stories, essays and maybe one novel again. But I wouldn't hold my breath. At this point, I'm writing a series of short shorts tentatively titled, "Coffeeshop Love." Here's an excerpt:

"...And so I sit and watch him go through his routine every single day. Always a hot mug of cappuccino with extra cinnamon powder on top of the white froth, always two donuts and always by that lone table at the far end corner of the coffeeshop. The way he blows the steaming hot coffee to cool the searing liquid for a sip somehow excites me. And how the white froth clings to his upper lip forming a moustache! I fight hard to suppress a giggle. His lovely amber eyes, two orbs holding the secrets of unknown universes pierce through my soul as if he knew everything about me and is challenging me to say that he's wrong. But I can't tell him anything because that meant actually meeting him and being in his presence.

No. I dare not break his spell over me.."

Good stuff, huh? And I'm just getting started.

As for reading, well I've accumulated a lot of books this past year and here's what I've already devoured (2006-2007):

1. Dark Masques ed. J.N. Wiliamson
2. Nightmares and Dreamscapes by Stephen King
3. The Changed Man by Orson Scott Card
4. Immortality, Inc. by Robert Sheckley
5. The Orange Girl by Josh Gardner
6. Prime Evil ed. Douglas E. Winter
7. Shadows ed. by Charles L. Grant
8. Frankenstein by Mary Shelley
9. Virgin by Mary Elizabeth Murphy
10. Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Robert Stevenson
11. Long after midnight by Ray Bradbury
12. Einstein’s Dreams by Alan Lightman
13. Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown
14. Angels and Demons by Dan Brown
15. Hitchhikers Guide to the Universe (1-5)
16. The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty by Ann Rice
17. The Rule of Four by Iam Caldwelland Dustin Thomason
18. Alfred Hitchcock Presents: I am curious (Bloody)
19. Alfred Hitchcock Presents: Witch’s Brew
20. Stranger by Night ed. by Jeffs Gelb and Michael Garrett
21. Smoke and Mirrors by Neil Gaiman
22. The Historian by Elizabeth Kostova
23. Dangerous Women ed. Otto Penzler
24. The DaVinci Legacy by Lewis Perdue
25. The Moor by Laurie King
26. Twisted Travels by Jessica Zafra
27. Pugad Baboy 19 by PM Junior
28. True Phil. Ghost Stories 19 by Psicom Publishing
29. Deadly After Dark edited by Jeff Gelb and Michael Garrett
30. Pugar Baboy 18 by PM Junior
31. The Nine Billion Names of God-The best short Stories of Arthur Clarke (Signet)
32. Violin by Anne Rice
33. Heartbreak ed. by Cel Coscolluela
34. Phil. True Ghost Stories vol. 2
35. Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bardbury
36. Expanded Universe by Robert Heinlin

I still have quite a few books to read but with my appetite for knowledge and stories I have no doubt that I will be reading through them in no time. I still have a couple of projects to finish but I am looking forward to submitting them so I can more on to more wonderful assignments!

Here's to a great year ahead!!

on a 2nd date

And he came! Told you I'd be there. The event at Powerbooks, Fort Bonifacio High Street, Global City didn't pack as much crowd as the book signing he did last year at The Powerplant, Rockwell. But still, I have no complaints. As long as I get to see my hero, I am a happy kitty.

He did a book signing at Subic though and from what I know, Powerbooks is selling signed copies of "The Art of Drawing Beowolf" of which he co-wrote. The book is a thousand pesos plus so I still have to save for it. Right now my book priority is leaning on a copy of 2 of my favorite Sandman graphic novels - Seasons of Mist and World's End Inn - and his latest book, Fragile Things.

And for some good news. Neil Gaiman just added a new category for the Fully Booked contest - short film. Wish my friend Ness and the Animator were in the country. They would be perfect for this category. As for me, I'm going to work on my short fiction entry a bit early so that I won't have to cram anymore. Sadly though, he might not be returning for a third time.

He did promise that if the entries for next year's competition are able to knock his socks off then he may just reconsider a third date with pinoy scifi/fantasy fans. Hmm..better have my penciles sharpened extra pointy then.

and my wish came true

Yup! He's coming back. Neil Gaiman is coming back this November (courtesy of Fully Booked)!! And I have his books all lined up for his signature --Smoke and Mirrors and American Gods.

My problem now is who will join me in my vigil to line up for his autograph? None of my friends who are also big fans of Neil Gaiman is around to accompany me. Oh well! I still have at least two months to find new comrades.

==

And to make my idol proud, I am joining the 2nd Fully Booked Online writing contest.

Oh yes. I'll be quite busy. There's the Nanowrimo 2007 and of course my commissioned work.

Writing is going to be sweet again!

in the meantime

While things are still boiling in anticipation for my sister's wedding (yup, she got pregnant and she's getting married two weeks from now), my writer life is just picking up pace. No thanks to Adam. He's very, very sick and I may have to trade him in if I don't save enough to get him fixed. I don't want to see him go but with my current finances, I am left to find other means of getting the money.

I am thinking of going freelance again but last time I tried (and that's just one article) I completely froze. Why? I guess because the topic wasn't of interest to me and the restrictions frightened me. The trauma from my last experience really made a mark. It's either perfection at one sitting or nothing at all. That's why I choose the fiction or lifestyle genre. I have freedom to use whatever style without losing the essence of the work.

So for the next two days I'll be hammering away at the keys of my dad's pc to fill the pages of my novel. It feels nice to sit and hear the keys with their quirky, mesmerizing tone. And it's the thought that with each pound of the key I am creating magic through words that hypnotizes me to the task.

reading mostly...

Yup. That's what I've been doing. Been reading old books lately. Just want to refresh the stories in my head. I'm in the final chapters of "The Da Vinci Code" and "Dracula". After that, I will be reading through "100 little Mysteries" ed. by Isaac Asimov. I have a fourth of the book to finish. Shortly after that, I'll finish the Lumley book and start with another historical mystery featuring Edgar Allan Poe. I'm really into the historical mysteries. I'm still looking for the "Daughter of God" by Perdue (it's so hard to find!) and am awaiting another adventure movie. The sequel to "National Treasure" entitled "The Book of Secrets".

If fate dealt me a different hand, I see myself as an archaeologist. I could be in the likes of Professor Sydney from the TV series, "Relic Hunter." I've always longed to find out what happened to the Babylonian Gardens and I've been fascinated with the bible stories of the Old Testament. Which is why I love fiction - historical, fantasy, sci-fi. They delve into the possible and impossible. And whatever we can create is only limited by what we can think up.

To my fellow bookworms, read on!

PS: The new Harry Potter book just released TODAY!! Yey!
==
Some people wonder why I don't join book/reading clubs. Honestly, I would like to but I think they won't be able to get a lot out of me. Reading for me is a personal pleasure. It's as solitary as writing. Your tastes in subject could be so different from mine. But I do see the point of groups like that. At least they can share different POVs and perhaps introduce you to a new author. That's something I can look forward to. Maybe I should hang out online more often. Any bookworm groups out there? I'm ready to be adopted!

the future

After taking a left turn in my quest to fulfill my dreams of becoming a successful writer, I have never been so sure of my goal. I will become a famous, successful, admired and well paid writer.

I know it sounds absolutely crazy. But lately I have been forced to confront the future--something that I don't usually do. People close to me have intimated their fondest desires for their futures, leaving me to wonder about my own. But because the future is not so concrete and I can be unpredictable at times, all I am able to do is dig deep into myself to know what are the things important. A list for what matters the most.

1. Family - my family now and of course my own in the future.
2. Writing - to be able to write life and fantasy and live it twice through my words.
3. Travel - expand my horizon and have more adventures.
4. Studies - to never stop working on all the possibilities.
5. Wealth - so I can afford the luxury of what I want in life.

I know of some people who would include power. But for me power corrupts so I'd much rather not play with fire knowing full well that I'll get burned.

For now, I have to make sacrifices to reach my dreams, that includes sleep and my other vices.I have to take care of my body and my mind so I can write the greatest story not yet told.

Watch out world!

what?

Reading this bit in Time magazine this month raised my eyebrows. Being a Catholic, I am not surprised at the Christ myths. But even this is too extreme for me.

"...It turns out that biblical revelation might have a few holes in it- at least according to the good people of Shingo, a tiny village in far northern Japan that claims to be the actual final resting place of Jesus.

The Shingo legend has it that Jesus spent his 20s not woodworking in Nazareth, but trekking through Japan where - like many gajin teacher after him - he fell in love with the culture and learned Japanese. At age 33, he returned to Judea to preach about the "holy land of Japan" and was soon condemned to crucifixion for this heresy. However, Jesus' twin brother Isukiri somehow took his place on the cross, while Jesus escaped back to the promised land of Japan. He settled in the farming village of Shingo, where he married a local girl, had children and happily tilled the rice fields until his death at 106. You can find his burial place in the village today- just look for the sign that says "Tomb of Christ: next left."

They say the legend only dates back to 1935, when a Japanese priest discovered what was supposedly Christ's will. But the small village have used the legend to its profit making hilt with novelties like the Christ Museum, celebrating June 10 as the annual Christ Festival and of course, the Christ-branded sake at the Jesus Convenience Store.

article: Best place to find Jesus by Bryan Walsh, May 7, 2007, Time Magazine.

article to share

If you think that being a freelance writer is easy, think again..

So You're Thinking About Becoming a Freelance Writer
By Donovan Baldwin

You would think that writing is writing. You would think that just because you are doing it in freelance mode rather than under contract to a publication or advertising firm, for example, that it's the same thing. You would think, huh?

Well, like many things in life, when you step away from the beaten path and eschew the warmth and comfort of schedule, office, guidelines and are forced to do all that that implies for yourself, things change.

Anyone who is good at their job and decides to go out on their own...start their own business...very rapidly learns a bitter truth. Along with all the obligations to the boss, the kowtowing and dog and pony shows, the J.O.B. did provide some things that it can be hard to get along without.

Take that scheduling thing a couple of paragraphs ago. For many people striking out on their own, including freelance writers, a first dash of cold water from the fountain of freedom is the realization that they are not as good at scheduling their own time as their boss or office was.

Oh, it's great not to hear the clock go off in the morning, but at some point, if you want to be successful, you have got to get out of bed and go to work. The boss expected you there by a certain time and kept you there a certain time for a reason. Requiring a certain amount of time out of your life insured that a certain amount of work got done. With no boss to stand over you or glare at you as you come in late, it can be easy to cut the routine and suddenly find that your output has dropped off.

For a freelance writer, low output can mean low wages.

In the routine of the office, you knew that certain jobs had to be done in certain cycles and to certain rhythms. Many times, those rhythms and cycles were there when you came to work at that company. You may have modified them somewhat, but there is a chance you did not create them. As a self-employed individual, i.e. freelance writer, you are going to have to discover and create the cycles, rhythms, and schedules which will help you be successful.

At your job, you had to develop and grow. Maybe they provided training for you, maybe they didn't, but at some point you probably realized that if you wanted to advance, or at least keep your job, you would have to figure out how to work the new machinery, fill out the new form, or placate the new boss. A freelancer has to stay abreast of what's going on as well, only now, there is no one standing by to make sure you get the message.

Additionally, your job provided incentive for you to keep working even if things weren't going well. As long as you came in and did your work, you got your paycheck. For many, that, and the chance of losing a job, translates into a certain incentive to be creative. Often, when writers go freelance, they find that without any guidance and expectations from outside, their creativity dries up. Then, it is up to them to force themselves to produce.

Bosses also set expectations, and you knew as an employee what those expectations were. Many people who decide to freelance feel that they will now be able to call the tune. However, often what they want to write is not what others want to read, and they find that the boss had certain expectations because he or she knew what the market was demanding. Many a freelance writer, and others who take the self-employed route, find themselves doing many of the same things they did, but for less money and with no benefits.

The list can go on. There are a myriad of things that anyone leaving the work force and striking out on their own will realize need to be done. They will also realize that usually somebody else did them when they had a job. Now that they are self-employed, again, i.e. freelance, they are responsible for it all...from bookkeeping to sanitation. It is their responsibility not only to be a good employee but a good employer as well.

Going freelance in any profession can be daunting, and sometimes the rewards are not monetary. Many self-employed people make less than they did at their last job, but would never go back now that they have made the break. After all, where else can you quit work to watch the game or play with your kids, take a couple of days off because you feel like it, and do your work with a beer on the desk?

new hobby

This is my new hobby, riding my new bike. My dad bought one over holy week and I've been learning to ride it well. I fell down a few times already and I wear my bruises as a badge of honor.Progress is slow and I have recently added turning as part of my biking skills.

30 minutes a day of leisure biking. That's what I've started to take on as a form of exercise. Getting fit is hard to do.
==
As for my brains getting some much needed stretching, I have my books to do that for me. Currently I am in between 10 books. Hehehe! 10 books...amazing, ain't it? Goodluck to me finishing all of it!

amazing!

While writing about my latest book finds for my other site, I received something amazing. Here is the comment from my latest author find, Lewis Perdue. I found his book "The Da Vinci Legacy" at Booksale. I actually like his book and am looking for his novel, "Daughter of God."


"Lewis Perdue said...

Hope you enjoy The Da Vinci Legacy. I wrote it so long ago, that it is surely _not_ my best written one, but hope it is good enough!

FYI, my wife's aunt is from Manila."

What amazes me is he took the extra mile to address an individual fan. That made him more endearing to me and ensured me as a fan. I hope to follow his example in the future.
==

I'm in the middle of these books right now:

1. Deathport ed. Ramsey Campbell
2. On Writing by Stephen King
3. Writers of the Future vol VI ed. L. Ron Hubbard
4. Do androids dream of electric sheep by Philip K. Dick
5. Conjure Wife & Our Lady of Darkness by Fritz Leiber
6. Exploring the Matrix: Visions of the Cyber Present ed. by Karen Haber
7. The Best of Frederick Pohl
8. Citadels of Mystery by de camp and de Camp
9. Dracula by Bram Stoker

Now, when I say "in the middle" it means I've already finished a substantial number of pages in the book and my attention was caught by another paperback thereby taking my focus off the said book and have started to pick up something else. I know it's a bad habit but I just can't help it. The worse part is my book addiction is spiraling out of control. I've bought so many books but have so little time to read them.

Do I see any cure for my affliction? Not in the near future.
Ahh! The woes of a bookworm...

i'm famous!

This is the picture of me plastered on the lifestyle section of The Philippine Daily Inquirer (PDI), March 27, 2007. Yes, my face on print newspaper. My friend got me as an interviewee on her article. It was nice to see how my family fussed over my 24-hour celebrity status. What more if they saw my name as a contributor!

With that being said, that’s my goal for this year–to be published online or print again. I miss having my name posted on websites.

Speaking about pictures, I am also in the HSBC calender front cover and on the wallpaper in the entrance of the office. Pretty cool, huh!

==

Splurged again on my book budget. I'm guilty of buying three new books, including "American Gods" by Neil Gaiman. National Bookstore had a sale and naturally, I had to buy a new book. Not to mention my purchase of "The Best of Frederick Pohl", "Vampire Papers" and a mag for Photoshop editors.

Now if only I could find the time to read them all. Sigh!

finally!

Ask and you shall receive..and what the universe gave me was so much more than I could have imagined. I was able to go to one of the beautiful beaches in the Philippines—Puerto Galera, Mindoro.

The white sandy beach was wonderfully warm, the sun smiled down on us and the clear blue water was cool and divine.

This is paradise.

I am definitely looking forward to more out-of-town trips and perhaps, if I get lucky, go on an out-of-the-country adventure.

the old days

See that lone, frail guitarist on the right? Yup, that's me back in second year in college. Hehe! Talk about being a nerd.. I looked like one of the super nerds!

This is the only picture I have of our gigs. Actually, this is our first gig at a friend's birthday party. I can't believe how different I look now, considering the time that has elapsed. Here, I look like a highschool kid and now I look like a college student. I'd like to thank my mom for my genes that makes me look younger than my real age.
==
As for my writing, I deserve to be whipped 1,000 times for procrastinating. But I have been joining a lot of writing groups online and somehow my interest is piqued once more. I have been writing in my journal but mostly it's emotional writing. I plan to join a writing contest by year end and hopefully win. If not, at least have my name splashed across the web space again.

Must work harder than before. With tons of responsibilities at work, web projects and self-studying to do, it's a wonder I still have time for my king and family.

a day in the life

If you recorded the day in a life of a writer you would be disappointed. He makes coffee, he looks out the window, he does everything but write. But despite these everyday failures, something still comes out of it.
-- Imre Kertesz

And I also do lists. For me, it's a thrill being able to cross out each accomplished item off that list.
==

Why is it that when I am out, the urge of writing suddenly hits me. And I am determined to set down on paper my musings and story ideas. But as soon as I arrive home, the will is gone and I am left feeling abandoned by my muse.

To be honest, I find it annoying not being able to write something wonderful on command. Yeah sure, I am a mediocre writer. As of yet, I do not possess the discipline professional writers brag about. I write when inspiration hits me. And from what I am experiencing, I badly need to place myself in an inspiring environment to be able to finally finish my half-baked stories and unmade novel ideas.

If only Starbucks is open 24/7. Hmm..not a bad business idea.
A writer's cafe! :)

fond memories

Just reminiscing...Hay! I wonder when he will be back.

on vampires and more

I've been reading books on vampires lately. I'm still within the pages of "The Historian" by Elizabeth Kostova, a fictional story working on the premise that Vlad Dracul is still alive in this century. Next I'll be re-reading Bram Stoker's "Dracula" and then finish up with an anthology entitled, "Bite" with writers like Laurell K. Hamilton, Charlaine Harris, etc.

Why the interest in blood? Nothing really. Just feel like I wanted to read something sinister to blow off steam from all the pressure at work.

losing books

I lost two books recently. And it pains me to never see those books again. It's like saying goodbye to a dear friend. The first book is the "Sandman: Book of Dreams ", a signed copy from Neil Gaiman himself. I lent it to my friend and she never returned it. Huhuhu!

The second book is one of my Alfred Hitchcock collections. It's actually one of my favorite books. Same thing happened. I lent it to my friend and he left work so I don't think I'll be seeing my book again. I'm shy asking him to return it.

But then again, stories are meant to be shared. So I'm doing my best to let go of these personal treasures. Things happen for a reason and maybe these books have so much more to share to the world.
==
Wanna see how fast I can read given the flame of interest? In one month, I finished off four anthology books. It was such a thrill reading a book. I feel like I'm having an affair, grabbing any free time I can get to sneak a peak in the pages of my books. It's crazy!

Hahaha! I'm such a nerd!

that's what I want...

Yup. I want one too. Call it vanity or insanity. It's probably both. But I really, really want one.
==
Going through my reading list, I am proud to say I've read more than 12 books in a span of five months. I know it's still slow for a bookworm but at least I find time to sneak in my books.
==
It's funny when you think about it. I took a break from writing because I experienced severe mental block. I couldn't write anything creative. Couldn't think straight. I hated the sight of words. I took refuge in a new job and new environment. And for a while I liked the change.

But being a writer seems to be engraved in my destiny. Weeks after quitting the writing world, I received quite a few offers for gigs. More recently I was invited to write for two online magazines. And my publisher also came back from Chicago to check up on the progress of my novel. Now, I'm also associate editor for our office newsletter.

Should I be scared? No, not really. I guess what I should be is grateful and more hardworking especially since a lot of people expect great things from me. And so for my New Year's resolution I vow to read more and write more.

Happy New Year everyone and may all your dreams come true (like mine did!)!!